Benjamin, who chairs the Federation of State Medical Boards of the United States, has been lauded in recent years for her dogged determination in overcoming repeated disasters to run her rural clinic on the hurricane-battered Gulf coast.
The Bayou La Batre Rural Health Clinic in Alabama, which she founded, has been repeatedly hit by massive storms, most recently in 2005 by Hurricane Katrina.

In accepting the nomination, Benjamin pledged to be “a voice in the movement to improve our nation’s healthcare,” as she thanked Obama for putting healthcare reform at the head of his domestic agenda.

“As a nation, we have reached a sobering realization: Our healthcare system simply cannot continue on the path that we’re on,” Benjamin said, lamenting the millions of Americans without health insurance. She also said that if confirmed by the US Senate, she wanted to use her role as surgeon general to “ensure that no one — no one — falls through the cracks as we improve our healthcare system.”

“We’re seeing more and more single African-American women who are not finding men,” Caldwell says. “There’s a lack of qualified black men to get into relationships with.”

The numbers are grim. According to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, 45 percent of African-American women have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women. Sound Off: What are the biggest challenges for black families?

Yet the decision to adopt isn’t just driven by the paucity of eligible African-American men, others say.

Toni Oliver, founder and CEO of Roots Adoption Agency in Atlanta, Georgia, says her agency sees more single African-American women adopting because of infertility issues.

Some of the infertility issues may be related to advancing age or health issues, she says. But the result of not being a mother for many older African-American women is the same: panic.

“Their doctors, friends and family are telling them the same thing: ‘You’re not getting younger; you better hurry up,’ ” Oliver says.]

Source: cnn.com

Data on 1075 male respondents to the 2003 Health Information National Trends Study were collected from October 2002 to April 2003 and analyzed in 2008 to examine the associations among race/ethnicity, demographic characteristics, and the perception of the risk of developing prostate cancer for African-American, Hispanic, and non-Hispanic white men aged >or=45 years without a history of prostate cancer.

Nearly 50% of African-American men, 47.4% of Hispanic men, and 43.3% of non-Hispanic white men perceived their likelihood of getting prostate cancer as somewhat or very low. Nearly 18% of African-American men, 21.6% of Hispanic men, and 12.9% of non-Hispanic white men perceived themselves to be more likely to get prostate cancer than the average man of the same age.

Despite statistics to the contrary, few African-American men perceived themselves to have a higher-than-average risk of prostate cancer, while a higher percentage of Hispanic men perceived their risk to be higher than that of the average man of the same age. These findings suggest that all men, but particularly African-American and Hispanic men, could benefit from information regarding their specific risk of developing prostate cancer before making a decision about prostate cancer screening.

Written by:
Shavers VL, Underwood W, Moser RP

In a study published in the May issue of the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, most overweight and obese women underestimated their body size when comparing silhouettes of body shapes — and some of them chose heavy silhouettes as their personal ideal.

Previous research had found ethnic differences in whether or not people see themselves as overweight or obese. And this study confirms that African American and Hispanic women are especially likely to underestimate their body size. (The few white women in the study overestimated their body size.)

The researchers, from Temple University, are understandably chagrined by all of this. They point out that the health risks of being overweight mean women ignore reality at their own peril. And they say the findings show the need for more education about the negative effects of “excessive body size.”

It’s true. Of course it is, but …

Physical self-appreciation among women is so very rare. Here’s hoping that the education doesn’t actually do damage.

– Tami Dennis
Source: latimesblogs.com

Oh, and he’s 14 years old.

Feel free to read that again.

Tony Hansberry II is a ninth-grader who, as it happens, will be presenting his findings today before an auditorium filled with doctors just like any of his board-certified – and decades older – colleagues would. He would say he was following in the footsteps of “Doogie Howser, M.D.” – if he weren’t too young to have heard of the television show.

Instead, he says that his remarkable accomplishments are merely steps toward his ultimate goal of becoming a University of Florida-trained neurosurgeon.

“I just want to help people and be respected, knowing that I can save lives,” said Tony, the son of a registered nurse mom and an African Methodist Episcopal church pastor dad.

To be sure, he had some help along the way, but, then again, most researchers do. The seeds of his project were planted last summer during his internship at the University of Florida’s Center for Simulation Education and Safety Research, based at Shands Jacksonville.

Source: blackplanet.com

One of the biggest problems with having children is the remarkable fact that they tend to be the source of parental stress. This is, obviously, the unique stress that comes from being a parent and having to worry about the fact that your kids are growing up, learning new things, living their lives their own way, and — all too often — figuring out things the hard way. In addition, you have to worry about your kids making the right decisions, staying out of trouble, and just generally turning into human beings just like you. Needless to say, this tends to create a lot of parental stress.

Being a parent isn’t easy. After all, you are responsible for raising, instructing, and helping children as they work their way from an infant into adulthood. And even when they go off on their own, you still worry about them as they make their way through the world. Despite the fact that they move on into adulthood, you never stop being a parent and you want to make sure that they are doing okay. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done and it is not easy to let them go. Thus, you find yourself both trying to give them freedom and trying to hang on to them as they go out into the world.

The problem becomes one of both trying to keep a hold of your children and trying to let them be their own people. Thus, in order to allow you children to move on, you need to learn to let them go. That’s right, in order to ease parental stress, you need to learn how to be less of a parent. In fact, you need to learn how to let them make their own mistakes. This is very difficult, since you will have to watch them as they go through the process of growing up, largely without your help. This can be very difficult, since you will want to protect them from the world. But the world will show up sometime and you will need to let them learn to deal with it. Needless to say, this will only make parental stress worse for a while, since you will be essentially standing on the sidelines as they make errors that you could have warned them against. Just remember that it will do them good in the long run and they will be better for it.

However, this does not mean that you shouldn’t keep an eye on your children. Let’s face it, you are still a parent and you need to watch over your children. Trying to cope with parental stress will not be improved by being completely ignorant of your children. Instead, let them be themselves as you try to keep an eye on them. They will find their own way, even if you do not always enjoy the path that they have to go down to get there. Just allow them to be imperfect and they will learn what they need to know in the process.

But when the stress of child-raising gets to be too much, don’t be afraid to get help. There are plenty of support groups, books, and websites out there that want to help you through your parental stress. Don’t be afraid to give them a try, if for no other reason than to stay informed. Nobody said it was going to be easy, so try to keep your stress under control. Then, by keeping it under control, you can survive a lot of difficult situations and a lot of difficult years and prevent yourself from going crazy with worry.

Just remember that your children will, eventually, become rebellious and they will probably try to act in a way that may shock you. It is well-known that parental stress can be fairly severe during the teenage years, since teenagers are always eager to go their own way. And if that doesn’t increase parental stress, nothing will. You will often find yourself on the sideline, trying to figure out what is going on in their heads, but try to remember that you were their age once. Teenagers aren’t perfect. Neither are adults. Keep both of those items in mind and you may be able to keep your parental stress to a minimum.

No, parental stress is not easy. No, it is not simple to solve. No, there is no point where you can just let your children go completely. However, by managing your own parental stress, allowing your children to grow up, and understanding that your children need to make their own mistakes sometimes, you can keep your emotions under control and allow your children to be themselves. So, rather than allowing parental stress to take over your life, let parental stress take a backseat to keeping an eye on your children, making sure that they are doing fine, and enjoying the years when they are growing from youth to adulthood and beyond.

LowerYourStress.com: for everything to do with stress. Get a free ebook to help with your stress levels: http://www.loweryourstress.com/stress-book.html

Researchers calculated the body mass index from a sample of 8,550 Hispanic, black, white, Asian and Native American 4-year-olds. The children were born in 2001, and in 2005, their height and weight were measured — 18.4 percent of them were obese.

“Significant differences in the prevalence of obesity between racial/ethnic groups were evident at 4 years of age,” the researchers wrote in the April issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

Using body mass index, they found that 31.2 percent of American Indian/Native Alaskans, 22 percent of Hispanics, 20.8 percent of blacks, 15.9 percent of whites and 12.8 percent of Asians were obese.

“It’s surprising that there are large differences by racial/ethnic group by that age,” said Sarah Anderson, an assistant professor of epidemiology at The Ohio State University and lead study author.

Anderson and co-author Robert Whitaker’s analysis showed that children were becoming obese even before encountering soda and candy vending machines in schools.

“These results really do point to the need for us to focus attention on early childhood and the need for research to understand how these differences can emerge so early,” Anderson said. “To do that, we may need to understand the different family and cultural factors that are at play in these children’s lives.”

Source: CNN

Check out the top 3:

Chick-fil-A: A-

Between the breakfast and lunch menus, there are only two entrées at Chick-fil-A that break 500 calories, a rare feat in the fast-food world. What this means is that you can’t possibly do too much harm—especially if you stick to the chicken. And unlike the typical fast-food chain, Chick-fil-A offers a list of sides that goes beyond breaded and fried potatoes and onions. (Just beware the large cole slaw, which adds an extra 600 calories to your daily intake!) That’s why we dub the Atlanta-based chicken shack one of our all-time favorite fast-food restaurants.

Also, be sure to check out our exclusive list of the best and worst restaurants for kids to see why Chick-fil-A receives an even higher grade when it comes to kids’ meals.

Survival strategy: The worst thing you can do is supplement your meal with a milkshake—not a single cup has fewer than 600 calories. And instead of nuggets or strips, look to the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches, which average only 320 calories apiece.

Subway: A-

A menu based on lean protein and vegetables is always going to score well in our book. With more than half a dozen sandwiches under 300 calories, plus a slew of soups and healthy sides to boot, Subway can satisfy even the pickiest eater without breaking the caloric bank. But, despite what Jared may want you to believe, Subway is not nutritionally infallible: Those rosy calorie counts posted on the menu boards include neither cheese nor mayo (add 160 calories per 6-inch sub), and some of the toasted subs, like the Meatball Marinara, contain hefty doses of calories, saturated fat, and sodium.

Survival strategy: Cornell researchers have discovered a “health halo” at Subway, which refers to the tendency to reward yourself or your kid with chips, cookies, and large soft drinks because the entrée is healthy. Avoid the halo, and all will be well.

Jamba Juice: A-

Jamba offers a viable and tasty solution to the dearth of fresh fruits and vegetables in the American diet: Stick it all in a blender and let us slurp it up. But make this your rule: If it includes syrup or added sugar, it ceases to be a smoothie. Jamba Juice makes plenty of real-deal smoothies, but their menu is sullied with more than a few faux-fruit blends. Just make sure you choose the right one.

Survival strategy: For a perfectly guilt-free treat, opt for a Jamba Light or All Fruit Smoothie in a 16-ounce cup. And unless you’re looking to put on weight for your new acting career, don’t touch the Peanut Butter Moo’d, which has more sugar than an entire bag of chocolate chips!

Source: msn.com

This time, however, the enemy is obesity. The first family is hoping to send a clear message to a fast food-driven nation that often seems to be losing the battle of the bulge.

“We’re just hoping that a lot of families look at us and say this is something that they can do and talk to their own kids about and think a little bit critically about the food choices that they make,” said Marian Robinson, the president’s mother-in-law.

Source: CNN

“Scientists believe these tiny cells may have the potential to help us understand, and possibly cure, some of our most devastating diseases and conditions,” Obama said at the signing ceremony.

Obama’s executive order removes funding restrictions put in place by President George W. Bush and fulfills an oft-repeated campaign promise. Scientists, patient advocacy groups and politicians on both sides of the aisle praised the action.

Source: LA Times

62 African-American women participated in the study. They were in good health, and had not been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. They were assessed for abdominal fat which is a risk factor for metabolic syndrome and diabetes. The women were then measured for stress reactions during a test that measured emotional response.

The body releases epinephrine during stress. This is called the “fight or flight response”. The women were asked to remember stressful times in their lives while the researchers recorded their blood sugar and epinephrine levels.

They found that women with a higher degree of belly fat, and a greater stress reaction, had a higher fasting glucose level, than women who had less belly fat.

Source: about.com

1. Ingrown hairs. While most men have suffered from ingrown hairs or razor burn, black men are especially prone to this condition because of their highly-curved body hairs. Because the hair tends to be more tightly curled, it has a greater chance of curving and growing back into the skin after shaving. This causes painful shaving bumps and irritation on the face and neck, and can only become more aggravated with further shaving.

Although it’s a common problem, there’s no need to simply accept it as a natural danger of shaving: by keeping skin exfoliated, changing your razor after 4-5 uses and following with a product with dermatologically-active ingredients, you can greatly reduce the occurrence of ingrown hairs. If you find yourself suffering a great deal from these skin irritations, consider cutting down on the amount of times you shave, since frequent shaving too close to the skin will trap hairs inside the follicles.

2. Dark Spots and Hyperpigmentation. Dark areas can often appear on African-American skin when scarring occurs, whether from cuts, acne or burns. These dark spots and uneven skin tone (called “hyperpigmentation”) will usually fade over time, but some ingredients can definitively help even skin color and promote a smoother surface. Hydroquinone, Kojic Acid and Vitamin C are used regularly by dermatologists and skincare professionals to fade dark areas and balance skin tone. These products often take 4-8 weeks to see maximum results, and they have been known to cause irritation in some men, so you should consult a dermatologist if you have sensitive skin or if irritation persists.

Regular, gentle exfoliation is also a good way to improve skin tone because it removes the top layer of dead skin cells and allows new, healthier cells to appear. By removing the upper layer, it also allows ingredients such as Hydroquinone to more effectively treat the skin. When using a product such as this, make sure you protect your skin well from the sun’s rays, since sun exposure stimulates pigment production and can re-darken areas.

3. Dry, Ashy Skin. Black men with very dry skin often have an ashy or gray appearance, so it’s important to keep skin well-moisturized and reinforced with nurturing vitamins to promote a smoother, healthier look. Because hot water can pull moisture from the skin’s surface, avoid long, hot showers and take quick lukewarm ones instead. Wash with a gentle liquid cleanser instead of bar soap (since bar soap can actually dry out skin), and put an active moisturizer on within five minutes of stepping out of the bathtub. This will lock moisture into your pores, promoting a smoother, more even appearance. Use an oil-free moisturizer that contains nutrients like Aloe, Hyaluronic Acid, Squalene and Vitamins A, D, and E, and don’t forget about the delicate area around your eyes.

4. Sun Protection. A common misconception about darker-toned skin is that it cannot burn or be damaged by the sun. Although African-American skin contains more melanin (skin pigment) which offers greater protection against the sun’s rays, it is still at risk for a number of sun-related diseases. In fact, African-American men are often at a higher risk because it is often harder to detect changes in skin marks or discolorations. This means it may take longer for a person to seek treatment, by which time the damage could have spread even further. Protecting your skin from the sun is a serious business, but it can be as easy as using a sunscreen of SPF 15 or higher that offers protection from both UVA and UVB rays, and reapplying it often.

About The Author

Deidra Garcia is a freelance writer and communications manager for MenScience Androceuticals, a men’s skincare and grooming company. You can find more articles by Deidra, as well as further tips and advice, at http://www.MenScience.com.

Today, African-Americans continue to face the most severe rates of HIV infection in the nation. The latest estimates indicate that while blacks make up just 12 percent of the U.S. population, they account for nearly half of new HIV infections and almost half of the more than one million Americans estimated to be living with HIV. The harsh reality is that 1 in 16 black men will be diagnosed with HIV at some point in their lifetime, as will 1 in 30 black women.

Source: BlackPRWire

Excerpt from sciencedaily.com:

As compared with white parents, African American parents:

* More often reported distrust of medical research, when questions assessing trust were combined and analyzed (67 percent vs. 50 percent)
* More often believed that physicians prescribe medications as a way of experimenting on unknowing patients (40 percent vs. 28 percent)
* Were more likely to believe that medical research involves too much risk to the participant (46.8 percent vs. 26 percent), that physicians will not make full disclosures regarding their child’s participation (24.6 percent vs. 10 percent) and that research participants would be favored and receive better medical care (48.6 percent vs. 28 percent)

I personally think that this study overlooks the fact that most black households have a home remedy for just about everything under the sun….castor oil anyone?

Here’s an excerpt from Access Atlanta, who did a story on the film:

The idea first hit Rock in the mid-1990s on a standup tour through Atlanta, where he came across the Bronner brothers hair show, a glitzy convention for black stylists.

“I thought, wow, this would make a great movie, but that was like 15 years ago, and no one was making funny documentaries 15 years ago,” Rock said in an interview Tuesday alongside Nia Long, one of many actresses and other celebrities Rock interviews in the film.

“So you cut to now, and I have daughters, and I’m really dealing with them and their hair a lot, and my friends have daughters, and we talk about our daughters’ hair issues. I kind of saw where to go at it, and now people are making funny documentaries,” he said.

Black hair is certainly big business, and this film will likely gain popularity quickly, as well as spark many less-than-friendly conversations on the good and the bad of nappiness.

The group of girls at Benton Elementary School gets together weekly to talk about ways to define respect for themselves and others.

Their goal for the day: build their own behavior plans. They sat three to a table and opened their sack lunches – peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, milk and Goldfish crackers.

While they ate, Cathy Cox explained that the floor was hers; the girls could not speak unless they were called on.

Cox reviewed the themes the girls had studied in the past week, then asked them to list some goals for themselves.

“I want ‘I can’ and ‘This means’ statements,” Cox said.

She had their full attention, wielding an encouraging smile one minute and, the next, a look that would make you want to duck under the table.

That combination of support and command is the key to R.I.S.E., a special group for third- through fifth-grade girls at Benton Elementary in Columbia. R.I.S.E. stands for Respecting Individual Style and Expression.

It’s a Fact – Diets will only make you fatter.

When it comes to the latest in Diet fads, we are quite gullible and easily tempted by a Diet’s empty promised. Reason being….the diet industry KNOWS we are in search of the “quick fix” and will only play with our emotions – our desperation for the quickest way to relieve looking and feeling fat.

Diets are nothing more than Temporary Solutions with many lingering, negative side effects.

Here are the Top 10 Reasons Why you should NOT “go” on a Diet

1. Diets do NOT work.

Diets have a 99% Failure Rate. Have you noticed a pattern yet? Lose weight….quickly regain it? Over time, studies show if you diet you are more likely to be overweight than people who eat normally and make small gradual changes to their lifestyle. No, the Law of Averages does not apply to this faulty system.

2. Dieting can be Dangerous.

Any time you severely restrict the amount or types of foods you eat you put your health and life at risk. Dieting has been related to injuries and sudden deaths from electrolyte imbalance, malnutrition, and heart arrhythmia’s. Weight cycling, or yo-yo-ing weight, is associated with higher death rates – especially if some type of pills are being used. At no point should you ever place weight loss above your health.

3. Dieting Destroys your Metabolism.

Diets will cause your weight to quickly cycle up and down. Sure, you may lose weight quickly because you are simply not eating enough. In the initial stages, the first seven to nine pounds lost are water, presenting a real danger of dehydration and mineral deficiencies. Even more terrifying ins the break down of lean muscle due to inefficient nutrients and calories. If you are losing more than 3-4 pounds a week, you can be sure this is what is happening – very little fat is lost this state.

Now, any muscle loss will cause your metabolism slow to a crawl. The cumulative effect takes place for you cannot survive very long on very low calories (1200 or less) and you will eventually eat more – on top of a slower metabolism. All those excess calories will be stored as fat – causing rapid weight gain.

4. Dieting is Exhausting.

Diets are just reduced calorie Fads disguised by a clever gimmick. “Lose weight while you sleep” “Eat all you want and still lose weight” Not eating enough or cutting out certain food groups means your body may not be getting the energy it needs, or may lack certain nutrients. You will feel exhausted, light headed and experience some not-so-fun mood swings.

5. Dieting is Disruptive.

Dieting negatively affects your normal eating patterns. Diets can lead to binge eating, overeating and chaotic eating. When you diet, it is common to override your internal signals telling you to eat. You end up trying to use willpower or resist hunger signals and may even go as far as taking appetite suppressants. This results in being unable to know when you really are hungry or wore….when you’re full.

6. Dieting can lead to eating disorders.

Experts state that the high rates of eating disorders in the U.S. are due in part to people dieting, losing weight, rebounding, and becoming chronic dieters.

7. Dieting Causes Food Obsessions.

If you spend a large amount of time and energy depriving yourself of food or certain types of food – you will spend more time thinking about food and become obsessed attempts to control your weight by what you choose to eat or not eat. How long do you want to live like this?

8. Dieting Diminishes Women.

There is way too much attention focused on our appearance and an arbitrary number on the scale. In the midst of this focus – we end up avoiding what really matters to us – our dreams and ambitions. Even worse, it erodes our confidence and self-respect.

9. Dieting Intensifies Negativity.

If you diet, you are more judgmental and critical of yourself and others. Once again, wasted time and energy.

10. Diets Put Your Life on Hold.

Does this sound familiar….”I’ll be happy when I weigh “x pounds.” Guess what, the issues in your life are not related to your weight. Take responsibility and take back control of your life. Decide to be happy now and do what it takes to live a lifestyle that reflects your priorities.

So this year resolve to NOT go on a Diet. Set Yourself Free from this miserable, guaranteed to fail weight loss cycle. Do NOT let the diet industry make money by taking advantage of you. It is time to stand up for yourself and take control.

About The Author
Holly Rigsby, CPT, MAT America’s #1 Fat Loss Expert for Busy Moms and the author of Fit Yummy Mummy Lifestyle System http://www.fityumymumy.com/ and expert contributor at http://www.efittoday.com She has helped well over 500 Mom’s lose the stubborn baby fat and get their pre-baby body back. Don’t miss her Free Report: Top 5 Busy Mom Metabolism Boosters.

Here’s an excerpt:

In an age when the adult populations of most industrialized nations have grown significantly taller, the average height of black women in the U.S. has been receding, beginning with those born in the late 1960s.

The difference in stature between white women and black women has now stretched to three-quarters of an inch and appears to be increasing, according to newly released data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The main culprit appears to be diet.

Read the Full Story

Demographers said such a trend might be partly attributable to the growing proportion of immigrants in the nation’s black population. It may have been driven, too, by the values of an emerging black middle class, a trend that could be jeopardized by the current economic meltdown.

The Census Bureau attributed an indeterminate amount of the increase to revised definitions adopted in 2007, which identify as parents any man and woman living together, whether or not they are married or the child’s biological parents.

According to the bureau’s estimates, the number of black children living with two parents was 59 percent in 1970, falling to 42 percent in 1980, 38 percent in 1990 and 35 percent in 2004. In 2007, the latest year for which data is available, it was 40 percent.

For non-Hispanic whites, the figure in 2007 was 77 percent, down from 90 percent in 1970.

While expressing skepticism about an increase so large in such a short time in the number of black children living with two parents, a number of experts said the shift was potentially significant.

“It’s a positive change,” said Prof. Robert J. Sampson, the chairman of Harvard’s sociology department. “It’s been hidden.”

Read the Full Story

It’s developmentally appropriate for children to become more and more independent, self reliant and responsible as they age. It can be challenging for parents to know when to step back and let their children try something on their own. After all, from the time their children were babies, parents have spent years meeting many to all of their child’s needs.

Striking a balance between allowing your children to do tasks for themselves and helping them when they seem to need or want is a talent of very powerful parents. This balance allows their children to thrive because they feel more confident in themselves while still feeling supported and properly mentored.

How can we instill self reliance and responsibility into our children?

(1) Allow your children to make some decisions: Even young children can make sound decisions if you give them a few select choices. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Would you like a peanut butter sandwich or a cheese sandwich? As children get older, you can allow them to make more important decisions with little to no guidance. They can determine things like which Fall sport they’d like to play, if they need a tutor for math, and which friends they’d like to spend time with each day without needing much, if any, input from parents. While it’s tempting to make these kinds of decisions for your older children, they need to stand on their own two feet—after all, their decisions are often correct!

(2) Encourage your children to try tasks on their own: While it’s often quicker and more skillfully done when we do it for them, children need to engage in tasks on their own if they’re ever going to learn how to do them well. Laundry, shoe-tying, and making the bed are great places to start with young children. Older children can handle more complicated tasks such as cooking, preparing their own lunch, and doing their own homework.

(3) Model responsibility and self reliance: Parents have many responsibilities—let your child see them and hear about them! Say out loud; “This screw seems a little loose, I’ll go get the screwdriver and tighten it” or “I have to plan our weekly menu for dinner; let’s see…Monday night we’ll have…” When children see you making decisions, taking initiative, and displaying self reliant behaviors, they will engage in similar behavior.

(4) Be your child’s coach rather than his sage: When your child asks you questions about how to do something or what to do in a certain situation, sometimes asking questions is more important than providing answers. “What do you think you should do? How would you feel if you chose X? What would happen if you did Y instead?” These questions can unlock the answers in your own child’s brain so the next time he’s in a similar situation he’ll be able to call on his own experience and judgment to make a decision.

(5) Be a good support system: Sometimes this means cheering them on from the sidelines and other times it means encouraging them to try again. Of course, when children truly need your help, they should know that they can count on you. If you teach them to ask for help when they really need it (when something seems unsafe or too challenging), they should know that you will be there to assist them. Children who know that they can count on their parents when they really need it feel better about taking risks and the possibility of making mistakes.

(6) Provide them with responsibilities: Chores are great for teaching children how to be self reliant as well as how to work as a team. After teaching them how to do the chore properly, let them give it a try with some assistance, if needed. You can even work on a checklist together which helps to break down the task into easy, age-appropriate chunks. For example, (a) Take the clothes out of the dryer, (b) Separate the clothes by family member, (c) Match up all the socks…and so on. When we provide children with ways to help out the family, we give them opportunities to build responsibility, self confidence, and self reliance.

(7) Encourage healthy risk-taking: Assure your children that making mistakes is OK. The most important thing is that he/she tries! Most things are not done perfectly the first time—even when you’re an adult. It doesn’t mean “the end of the world” and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Watching our children make mistakes can be challenging. We may want to rush to their aid to shield them from impending failure or disappointment. However, when parents do this, they rob their children of some very powerful tools; self confidence, stick-to-itiveness, and of course, self reliance.

Your children are relying on you to teach them how to approach the world. Sometimes that means they have to watch you to learn how to approach the task. But other times that means, you must watch them from the sidelines and encourage them to figure it out on their own.

Author: Dr Robyn Silverman

About The Author
Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a success coach, parenting expert and child development specialist who is praised for her helpful tips-based style. Known as “The Character Queen,” she’s the creator of Powerful Words Character Development which helps parents and educators teach children everything from respect to discipline and self confidence. For more information or to contact Dr. Robyn, please visit her Powerful Parenting Blog at http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com or her website at http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com