Here are some tips for making it work:

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. For example, are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?

2. Communicate in some way every day – more than once if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand – you don’t take communication for granted!

3. Recognize, and take advantage of, the benefits that long distance relationships offer such as more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality – something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a movie you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and discuss it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you’re on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match – or someone else is a better match – your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. Most relationship advice boils down to common sense; needless to say you are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that long distance relationships can go somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

Perhaps the toughest aspect of long distance relationships is this: Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you’ll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you’ll decide to go your separate ways, or you’ll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

About The Author
Emily Kensington is a couples therapist. For free relationship advice and romance tips visit http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com

The Cambridge Police Department in Massachusetts dropped a disorderly conduct charge against Gates, calling his arrest “regrettable and unfortunate” in a statement yesterday. Police arrested Gates at his home July 16 after a verbal confrontation with him. They said they were called to the house after a passerby mistook Gates’ effort to open his jammed front door for a break-in.

E-mails and telephone calls flew among black academics around the U.S. after Gates, 58, a leading scholar who has written about race and justice, was handcuffed on the front porch of his home, and only three blocks from the Harvard campus where he teaches. Kerry Haynie, a political scientist at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina, said he received more than a dozen calls and e-mails from friends about Gates’s trouble.

“It’s shocking,” Haynie said yesterday in a telephone interview. “Even before this incident came up, I spoke with a reporter about whether we’re in a post-race society. My immediate thought was, hell no.”

Source: bloomberg

Bill Cosby at this point in his career is not just internationally famous; he has become an icon in the black community as a successful, inspiring individual who did not let his color get in the way making his mark on society. So when this highly recognizable and well-loved entertainer came out two years ago with a tirade against the black community, citing hip hop and the language associated with it as part of the problem with today’s black youth, people paid attention. His rant, delivered at a NAACP event honoring the 50th anniversary of Brown vs. Board of Education caused quite a stir.

As founder of Def Jam Records Russell Simmons aptly put it, “pointing the finger may not be helpful — we still have more struggle as a society and more work to do to reform it.” (Debate Continues as Cosby Again Criticizes Black Youths, by Hamil L. Harris, Washington Post)

True, there is in fact a negative connotation to some of the language in hip hop, but conversely this same language has been adopted and assimilated into modern culture. How can you have politicians, parents and critics lambasting the same language that is used to market anything from cell phones to Subway sandwiches? As the oft misquoted line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet states, “Ah there’s the rub.”

Many in the hip hop world would tell you that language of hip hop is the language of the street — the lexicon of the day-to-day struggle in urban life.

Love And Hate
It’s hard to imagine a music culture that has evolved economically and culturally and has become so widely accepted to still suffer such censorship and harsh criticisms.

Love: Hip Hop group The Fugees won 5 grammys in 1999 essentially confirming what everybody knew all along — the music is not only popular but is also highly profitable.

Hate: Negative stereotypes and objectification of women dominate the lyrics of many popular hip hop songs and artists. Adding more ammunition to the hate revolver, The Rand Corporation recently did a study linking promiscuous sexual activity in teens to sex-laden (primarily hip hop songs) lyrics. (Rand Study Finds Adolescents Who Listen To A Great Deal of Music With Degrading Sexual Lyrics Have Sex Sooner, www.rand.org).

Love: As a recent Time.com article mentioned, the love affair between hip hop and advertisers continues to stay strong. In fact hip-hop’s power to direct tastes in everything from malt liquor to SUVs is constantly being wooed and courted by the advertising industry. (’Hip-Hop Nation ‘Is Exhibit a for America’s Latest Cultural Revolution, www.time.com)

Hate: Writer John McWhorter cites that the language of hip hop reinforces the same stereotypes that have hindered blacks in this country for decades by glorifying a “thuggish” adversarial stance that is the “proper” response to an allegedly racist, never changing white society that continues to oppress them. He firmly believes that this in essence, retards black success. (How Hip-Hop Holds Blacks Back, John H. McWhorter, The Manhattan Institute’s City Journal). For an example he cites several snippets from recent rap songs including this one from one of hip hop’s iconic figures, the late Tupac Shakur

gotta know how to shake the snakes, nigga,
‘Cause the police love to break a nigga,
Send him upstate ’cause they straight up hate the nigga.

For every positive someone can make a valid point for a negative aspect to this music. There is no right or wrong here. If you put both sides of this debate in a room you might as well make it a round room because that’s how the argument will go.

Breaking the circle
The language of hip hop isn’t going to change anytime soon. For every reference to the N word, guns and sex there are just as many references to empowerment, being strong and standing up for what you believe. Not everyone who plays a videogame shoots up a school. Not everyone who listens to hip hop will abuse women and join a gang. Understanding, interaction and communication is the key rather than focusing primarily on the negative aspects of hip hop.

It’s like being a part of that brotherly bond. And that’s the thing that feels good about it. It’s your people, and you hear other people using it, it’s kind of flattering, you know what I’m saying? Even if they don’t give the recognition like they are supposed to! It feels good to hear people out there ‘biting’ [using] your slang, basically. It’s communication, you know what I mean? It’s communication.” (Ameen, Oakland California youth talking about the impact of the language of hip hop to an NPR reporter).

Author Bio
HIPHOPDX – The premier spot for all things Hip Hop, Rap and R&B culture, what’chu know ’bout that?

Inspired by the Tuskeegee Airmen, 15-year-old Kimberly Anyadike flew a single-engine Cessna cross-country from her hometown of Compton, Calif., to Newport News, Va.

Anyadike is thought to be the youngest African American female pilot to complete the journey, which took 13 days. She arrived home in Los Angeles on Saturday, July 11.

Anyadike learned to fly at age 12 through the Compton-based Tomorrow’s Aeronautical Museum, which offers aviation lessons in an after-school program for disadvantaged youths, the Los Angeles Times reported. It was their plane that she flew on her cross-country trip.

The brave teenager came up with the idea for the trip on her own, the museum’s founder, Robert Petgrave, told the Times.
“I told her it was going to be a daunting task, but she just said, ‘Put it on. I got big shoulders,’” Petgrave said.

Source: NY Daily News

“We’re seeing more and more single African-American women who are not finding men,” Caldwell says. “There’s a lack of qualified black men to get into relationships with.”

The numbers are grim. According to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, 45 percent of African-American women have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women. Sound Off: What are the biggest challenges for black families?

Yet the decision to adopt isn’t just driven by the paucity of eligible African-American men, others say.

Toni Oliver, founder and CEO of Roots Adoption Agency in Atlanta, Georgia, says her agency sees more single African-American women adopting because of infertility issues.

Some of the infertility issues may be related to advancing age or health issues, she says. But the result of not being a mother for many older African-American women is the same: panic.

“Their doctors, friends and family are telling them the same thing: ‘You’re not getting younger; you better hurry up,’ ” Oliver says.]

Source: cnn.com

The Senate voted unanimously Thursday for a resolution acknowledging “the fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery and Jim Crow laws,” which authorized the segregation that followed the Civil War.

If the House passes a similar measure next week, as expected, it would mark the highest official mea culpa for the hundreds of years of discrimination that had been enshrined by the Constitution and courts.

“Slavery and Jim Crow, and their continuing consequences, are not the historical baggage of one state, one region or one company,” said Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa), the resolution’s sponsor. “They are an enduring national shame.”

Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush had both expressed remorse for slavery. And Congress has recognized other injustices, such as the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II.

“No one pretends that a mere apology – or any words – can right the wrongs of the past,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. “But it represents our recognition of that past and our commitment to more fully live up to our nation’s promise.”
The measure does have one caveat. It says it doesn’t imply support for paying reparations.

Source: nydailynews.com

Beacon Press said it will print new editions of previously published King titles and compile his writings, sermons, orations, lectures, and prayers into new editions with introductions by scholars in a series called “The King Legacy”.

King, who pioneered efforts to deliver racial equality through civil disobedience and other non-violent means, was assassinated in April 1968 in Memphis, Tennessee, aged 39.

“His vision and his message are more essential than ever in a world where, despite great gains, the global aspects of the radical inequities Dr. King devoted his life to exposing and addressing are all too apparent,” said Helene Atwan, director of independent publisher Beacon Press, in a statement.

King’s youngest son, Dexter Scott King, representing the Nobel Peace Prize winner’s estate, said Boston-based Beacon Press would be the dedicated public outlet for his father’s work.

“(This) will help bring his urgently needed teachings of nonviolence and human dignity, and his dream of freedom and equality to a new global audience,” King said in a statement.

Source: Reuters

Ms. Stanton is scheduled to assume the leadership of an overwhelmingly white synagogue in Greenville, N.C., in August. In interviews, many observers drew parallels between her joining the rabbinate and November’s presidential result.

“It is of incredible importance to note that her ordination coincides with the election of Barack Obama,” said Rabbi David Ellenson, president of Hebrew Union College, who will ordain Ms. Stanton at the college’s Cincinnati campus on Saturday. “It offers a ray of hope that the world can become a better place.”

Source: WSJ.com

Source: chron.com

Dreamworks Studios said it had secured the rights to make the film from the King estate, which it hoped would create the “the definitive portrait” of the murdered activist’s tumultuous life.

“We are all honoured that the King Estate is giving us the opportunity to tell the story of these defining, historic events,” Mr Spielberg said.

“It is our hope that the creative power of film and the impact of Dr King’s life can combine to present a story of undeniable power that we can all be proud of.”

Source: telegraph.co.uk

Last summer he had his right leg amputated, and at the time, he thought he had put the deadly disease behind him. He was ready to go ahead and start a new life.

The 6-foot-9 power forward averaged 15.2 points and 6.4 rebounds a game in his four years with the Indiana Pacers, and helped them into the playoffs in the 1986-87 season. He went on to play eight more years in the NBA with the Sacramento Kings and Phoenix Suns, finishing with career per-game averages of 15.3 points and 6.1 rebounds.

He was a three-time first-team All-American at Oklahoma and helped the United States to a gold medal in the 1984 Olympics, playing with Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing on a team coached by Bob Knight.

After his retirement from the NBA in 1997, Tisdale returned to his first love – music – and enjoyed a successful career as a bass guitarist, recording eight jazz albums and performing worldwide. His career was cut short by the bone cancer.

Source: BET.com

A mind that is cluttered with money worries may be flooded with one or two or all of these thoughts at one time or another. Maybe you were there once in your life, maybe not. Most people with financial troubles are anxious, confused, angry, harbor feelings of hopelessness, insecurity, and uncertainty about future financial outcomes. Consequently, this state of mind affects everything, including work performance.

It’s time for a financial assessment. Is your trouble because you have maxed out your credit cards? Maybe you have more month than money. Do you have medical expenses? Are you sick and can’t work? Have you lost your job, or been downsized? Where did the shortage originate?

Once you have assessed where the problem lie, then you can look at remedies. Money troubles in plain simple English are not enough money to cover your present lifestyle. The causes may or may not be within your control.

When the funds are low, the logical answer would be to make more but what most people do is fret about it. Some spend more time worrying about what they don’t have while others add on a second job.

Money troubles are not going to go away without something changing. Worry will not make up the deficit but initiating a plan of action will.

Make a list of all of your monthly household living expenses: mortgage, rent, utility bills, etc.

List Your Debts (creditors you owe)

List your entertainment

List miscellaneous (lunch, coffee, snacks, etc.)

Write in how much you pay on each. Total that amount.

List your sources of income (job, spouse, etc.). Take the total from this and subtract it from what you spend on household, debts and entertainment. If that figure shows you are not covering your expenses, look back at your expenses; see what you can eliminate from entertainment. Make a list of other areas you are expending money, such as lunch, dry cleaning, hair cuts, etc.

Try taking your lunch from home rather than buying lunch. The average lunch cost about $7.00. That $7.00 for five days comes to $35.00 a week, totaling $140.00 a month. Imagine if you, your wife and children spent the same amount weekly,that would amount to a partial mortgage or rental payment.

Take a look at your Debt. Began to work from the smallest to the largest. Take the money you saved from not buying, let’s say lunch, and redirect the total amount towards paying off the smallest debt first.

As you pay off each debt, take that money and add it to the next smallest debt, working your way to the largest, until you have eliminated your debt completely. While you are doing this, examine your household budget.

Look at how to eliminate some of your other expenditures; for example, if you have a high cell phone bill, you might want to exchange that cell phone for one with a more fixed rate. Maybe instead of hiring a lawn service, you could cut the grass yourself. Perhaps you might visit Barber or cosmetology trade schools to obtain these services at a reduced rate.

Look at what you are already doing first to find the extra money. If you still need more to make up the deficit, then you might look at your skills and talents: start a home-based business. It’s something you could do as a family.

Money troubles can be conquered, if you are willing to take a few extra steps. Don’t look at the impossible debt mountain, began the climb one step at a time. And, yes, it is okay to reward yourself along the way but keep in mind where you are headed. Don’t overdo it. Once your debt is eliminated, don’t spend the excess money; instead, add it to your future savings options.

Understand that paying your debts down will not take place overnight but if you are consistent it will happen.

Author Bio
Blondie L. Clayton is a Realization StrategistTM, Publishing Coach the co-founder of the Online School of publishing, Book Publishing and Marketing Coach; works as a freelance writer; hosts the “Author’s Spotlight at Positive Change Radio. Download your free debt free starter kit at blondie2book.com

Teachers say they resort to physical punishment because of the inherent problems of India’s public education system, specifically, the immense challenge of maintaining control of huge classes of unruly children. “Most children in my school are criminal-minded,” says Dr. S.C. Sharma, the principal of a government school in South Delhi. “We have caught them stealing fans from classrooms and even the iron grills from the windows. How do you discipline such kids?” In Sharma’s school the teacher-student ratio is 1:63, compared with a recommended ratio of 1:35.

Read the rest of the article here.

The Navy Times ran a story on Rear Admiral Michelle Howard who took command of the Navy’s counterpiracy task force only three days before the pirates attacked the U.S. cargo ship Maersk Alabama and snagged the captain as a hostage.
The U.S. Navy hadn’t seen this type of action in a very long time and piracy hasn’t been something the Navy has had to counter attack in over 100 years. Howard’s expertise and illustrious Navy career showed her to be the perfect person for this mission. She is the first female graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy to be promoted to Rear Admiral.

In the article, she said, ““Right now, the policy is, fight piracy, and I am all about that policy … We are quite capable of staying out here and doing this mission.”

Source: eurthisnthat.com

The Celebration of Truth campaign will include: The unveiling of the Sojourner
Truth bust, a presentation of “Ain’t I A Woman,” by long time NCBW supporter
and actress, Cicely Tyson. Music will be led by LomaxSpaulding, YolandaAdams
and Dorinda Clarke Cole at the U.S. Capitol Visitors Center Emancipation Hall.

More than 250 donors, sponsors, guests and members of NCBW will attend a
celebratory Sojourner Truth Memorial Donors Luncheon at the Willard
Intercontinental Hotel in Washington, DC following the events at the U.S.
Capitol. At the Donors Luncheon, the program includes a Sojourner Truth
dramatic presentation by singer/actress MZuri Moyo and a monologue by Brenda
Strong, the narrator on ABC’s Desperate Housewives. Special music composed
for the occasion will be provided by gospel recording artist Lomax Spaulding.

“This accomplishment has been a struggle, but at the National Congress of
Black Women, we have learned that it is from our struggles that we gain our
victories. We never gave up no matter what stood in our way. This bust of
Sojourner Truth in the U.S. Capitol is an honor to all women, and will forever
serve as a part of our history that celebrates the right to vote for all
women,” says Dr. E. Faye Williams, Esq., National Chair of NCBW.

Source: Today’s Drum

In 2003, the New Haven Fire Department in Connecticut gave an exam meant to gauge eligibility for promotions to lieutenant and captain. Scores for Hispanics and for African-Americans ranged from 34 to 59 percent of the scores for whites. Because of the way the promotions were structured, no African-American and only one Hispanic would have won any of the 15 promotions. The question then became whether the Civil Service Board would validate the test results.

After five days of hearings, the board decided the exam was flawed.

“The measured thing to do was to decide not to promote based on that exam,” says Acting Corporation Counsel Victor Bolden.

The lawyer for the white firefighters, Karen Torre, says there was nothing measured about the city’s action. She says the decision amounted to reverse racial discrimination, pure and simple.

“There’s no question that their race and skin color were the driving motivation behind the decision not to promote them,” Torre says of the white firefighters.

In a rare victory for the short story, Elizabeth Strout’s “Olive Kitteridge,” a collection set in New England and linked by the forthright title character, a math teacher and general scold with an understanding heart. It was the first book of short stories to win since 2000 (Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Interpreter of Maladies”).

Three prize winners centered on racial history, from colonial times to the 20th century.

The general nonfiction award went to “Slavery by Another Name: The Re-Enslavement of Black Americans from the Civil War to World War II” by Douglas A. Blackmon, Atlanta bureau chief for The Wall Street Journal. Newsweek editor Jon Meacham won the biography prize for “American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House,” a best-seller about the populist president whose sympathy for the less fortunate never extended to slaves.

“Jackson represents the best and the worst of us,” Meacham said.

Source: AP

One of the biggest problems with having children is the remarkable fact that they tend to be the source of parental stress. This is, obviously, the unique stress that comes from being a parent and having to worry about the fact that your kids are growing up, learning new things, living their lives their own way, and — all too often — figuring out things the hard way. In addition, you have to worry about your kids making the right decisions, staying out of trouble, and just generally turning into human beings just like you. Needless to say, this tends to create a lot of parental stress.

Being a parent isn’t easy. After all, you are responsible for raising, instructing, and helping children as they work their way from an infant into adulthood. And even when they go off on their own, you still worry about them as they make their way through the world. Despite the fact that they move on into adulthood, you never stop being a parent and you want to make sure that they are doing okay. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done and it is not easy to let them go. Thus, you find yourself both trying to give them freedom and trying to hang on to them as they go out into the world.

The problem becomes one of both trying to keep a hold of your children and trying to let them be their own people. Thus, in order to allow you children to move on, you need to learn to let them go. That’s right, in order to ease parental stress, you need to learn how to be less of a parent. In fact, you need to learn how to let them make their own mistakes. This is very difficult, since you will have to watch them as they go through the process of growing up, largely without your help. This can be very difficult, since you will want to protect them from the world. But the world will show up sometime and you will need to let them learn to deal with it. Needless to say, this will only make parental stress worse for a while, since you will be essentially standing on the sidelines as they make errors that you could have warned them against. Just remember that it will do them good in the long run and they will be better for it.

However, this does not mean that you shouldn’t keep an eye on your children. Let’s face it, you are still a parent and you need to watch over your children. Trying to cope with parental stress will not be improved by being completely ignorant of your children. Instead, let them be themselves as you try to keep an eye on them. They will find their own way, even if you do not always enjoy the path that they have to go down to get there. Just allow them to be imperfect and they will learn what they need to know in the process.

But when the stress of child-raising gets to be too much, don’t be afraid to get help. There are plenty of support groups, books, and websites out there that want to help you through your parental stress. Don’t be afraid to give them a try, if for no other reason than to stay informed. Nobody said it was going to be easy, so try to keep your stress under control. Then, by keeping it under control, you can survive a lot of difficult situations and a lot of difficult years and prevent yourself from going crazy with worry.

Just remember that your children will, eventually, become rebellious and they will probably try to act in a way that may shock you. It is well-known that parental stress can be fairly severe during the teenage years, since teenagers are always eager to go their own way. And if that doesn’t increase parental stress, nothing will. You will often find yourself on the sideline, trying to figure out what is going on in their heads, but try to remember that you were their age once. Teenagers aren’t perfect. Neither are adults. Keep both of those items in mind and you may be able to keep your parental stress to a minimum.

No, parental stress is not easy. No, it is not simple to solve. No, there is no point where you can just let your children go completely. However, by managing your own parental stress, allowing your children to grow up, and understanding that your children need to make their own mistakes sometimes, you can keep your emotions under control and allow your children to be themselves. So, rather than allowing parental stress to take over your life, let parental stress take a backseat to keeping an eye on your children, making sure that they are doing fine, and enjoying the years when they are growing from youth to adulthood and beyond.

LowerYourStress.com: for everything to do with stress. Get a free ebook to help with your stress levels: http://www.loweryourstress.com/stress-book.html

One of the main events was math-bate, a combination of math and debate in which teams were given scenarios and had to analyze and solve them mathematically. They also had to think critically about the various situations and apply reasoning and logic. Once they solved a scenario, they gave a presentation in front of me and a fellow Morehouse brother. While we scored them based on the correctness of their math, most of the points derived from their ability to explain their reasoning and the general fluidity of their presentation.

What we witnessed in our many hours judging events was disheartening.

Inequalities in education and the underlying factors are something that I’ve always been passionate about understanding. Going to predominantly white schools for grades k-8, and a predominantly black school for grades 9-12 helped me see more clearly the dividing line of educational quality. At Mathfest, I saw the overwhelming disparities that now plague America’s public schools.

Read the entire article here: ajc.com